a Presidential Bake-off of Monumental Proportions! (and hopefully monumental portions)

Hello all. We've been busy being engaged and haven't blogged for some time now. But, a subject of national interest has inspired me to blog once again – the presidential cookie bake-off.

It’s no secret Matthew and I enjoy baking cookies, decorating cookies, and definitely eating cookies. We are clearly experts at all of these. It’s time for us experts to weigh in on what is proving to be the most controversial presidential cookie contest EVER.

The contest is held through “Family Circle” or “Parenting” magazine, where readers (or anyone who registers online) vote for their favorite recipe submitted by the presidential candidates’ spouses. In the past, the spouses who won this contest (Hillary Clinton, Lara Bush, etc) ended up in the White House. The cookie contest now has an aura of predicting the future. It is the Groundhog’s Day of November. Ideally, the candidates should post a recipe that has a story to tell about who they are. The cookie should represent what kind of person you are and what kind of family you have. After all, baking a cookie from scratch is a symbol of love and it’s something that pretty much anyone and everyone can do. Let’s take a look into the history of this cookie contest –


First up, Barbara Bush’s “batch” versus Hillary Clinton’s “Chips”. Both of these recipes are variations of chocolate chip cookies, which is arguably the most beloved and also most mainstream cookie. Hillary’s chips have oatmeal and chocolate, but her recipe also uses vegetable shortening, which I refuse to bake with (although probably does taste really soft and delicious). However, Barbara Bush’s recipe was a pretty simple chocolate chip cookie, yet half-way through the contest, she CHANGED her recipe to include oatmeal, essentially copying Hillary’s success. So, clearly, Hillary stuck to her guns here and deserved this win.

(America loves the chocolate chip. )

Next, Hillary’s same recipe defeated Elizabeth Dole’s “Pecan Roll Cookies”. That’s a no-brainer! Pecan Rolls are for OLD people! Just like Bob Dole. And margarine instead of butter? Come on.






<---(Pathetic looking pecan roll cookies.)

Then, things got interesting with Laura Bush’s “Texas Governor’s Mansion Cowboy Cookies” versus Tipper Gore’s Ginger Snaps. Cowboy cookies are pretty dang good, with chocolate, coconut, oats, and pecans. Ginger snaps are a little boring, which was precisely the voters’ problem with the Gore’s in 2000. “Let’s get crazy and party with the Bushes!” thought 49.99% somehow-rounded-up-to-a-majority of America.

(Cowboy cookies and ginger snap cookies...America says "Close Call".)

In 2004, Laura Bush switched up her recipe to “Oatmeal chocolate chunk cookies” which is pretty similar to Hillary and Barbara’s recipes, with the addition of sour cherries. Teresa Kerry offered something more original and well suited for November – the “pumpkin spice cookie”. Arguably, this is one of the few “breakfast cookies”, a cookie you can eat for breakfast and not feel too bad about it. However, the voters felt Kerry’s cookie was “too elitist” because it didn’t have chocolate and required pumpkin puree, something you can’t use year-round. The Bushes prevailed again.



(Chocolate oatmeal chunk cookies looking familiarly inviting. Pumpkin spice looking rather snobby)

So now, finally, we have Michelle Obama versus Cindy McCain. Ms. Obama has chosen a family recipe of “shortbread cookies” that has orange and lemon zest, a splash of Amaretto, and an optional dash of dried fruit or nuts. Cindy McCain, who the thought of actually baking anything herself is pretty laughable, has offered up “Butterscotch oatmeal cookies” from ‘a friend’, clearly an effort to capitalize on the past success of super-sweet-and oatmeal combos. Turns out Cindy’s recipe is plagiarized from the back of the Tollhouse butterscotch chips label. Bill Clinton also submitted an Oatmeal Cookie recipe (before Hillary’s concession). Bill’s recipe turns out to be 100% the Betty Crocker cookbook recipe.

(shortbread cookies a little Jackie-O remincent)

(butterscotch cookies looking a little unappetizing and thrown together last minute).



(thanks for playing, Bill.)

I don’t really care that Cindy and Bill plagiarized. The contest rules do not state anywhere “the recipe has to be original to you or your family or friends” nor does it say “If the recipe is from another source, it must be given credit”. If your family favorite recipe is the one from the back of the chocolate chip package, that should be fine, right? But HOPEFULLY, hopefully, voters out there aren’t looking for the same old thing they can get already. When I look for recipes, I look for SOMETHING new and different. That’s why, although I intended to try both recipes before voting, I already voted for Michelle. Why? Because your bias in presidential candidate makes it impossible to have a “fair” cookie vote. I like Obama, so I will read into Michelle’s cookie as unique and different, maybe even a little sophisticated and elegant. Others might read into it as “elitist”, (since it requires liquor, something relatively expensive and not readily on hand), being too English, (aka Un-American), and who knows what else.

So this whole cookie contest stems from America’s obnoxious need for their Presidents to be “just like me and you”. The bowling, the beer-drinking, the flying on corporate jets, this is what makes or breaks an election these days. So, while I voted for Michelle’s cookies based on the issues at hand rather than comparing the actual substance, I vow that I will vote for the President in November based solely on which wife wins the cookie contest, rather than the issues at hand. Like the majority of Americans, I will wait until the last possible moment, than base my decision on the latest frivolous bit of trivia. I like cookies. I fricking love cookies. Cookies are my livelihood. And I don’t want a president whose wife can’t win a cookie contest. Call me a patriot.